Saturday, November 19, 2011

Are mandatory minimums the answer to the NHL's penalty problem?

The Onion News Network has a brilliant article pointing out a "study" showing that in the NHL, being sent to the penalty box does nothing to curb the behaviour that got the players sent there, and that some even wear it as a badge of honour.

If you've watched the Jets this year, you'll notice that they have spent a lot of time in the penalty box, repeated instances of being sent to the penalty box game after game. Obviously the coach would prefer not to have his players in the penalty box, and the NHL would prefer not to be seen as a revolving door of justice!

Hockey historian and Prime Minister of Canada Stephen Harper to the rescue. Mandatory Minimums are his Conservative Party's solution to the woes befalling Canada (falling rates of crime). Build more for profit prisons, find reasons to build them up. If people are against going to prison, call them socialists or crime apologists. Win-Win!

Imagine applying mandatory minimum sentencing to the NHL. Remember that high sticking penalty that wasn't deserved a few nights ago? Imagine if it was the third time that player (I honestly can't remember who it was) got a penalty this season. Guess what, no penalty box for you, douchebag! BANNED FOREVER FROM HOCKEY. Yeah that's right. That's how mandatory minimums work.

That's why you hear about people in California and Texas going to prison for 20 years for stealing a loaf of bread from the store.

If the Conservatives were serious about stopping crime, they'd be going after actual criminals. But they get a slap on the wrist and a hefty year end bonus.

I hear what you're saying. You're saying Reed, ref's have poor eyesight and selective hearing. They aren't as dependable as the RCMP or the local police, who are never wrong and never put innocent people in jail. Well yes, you're right. Police are model citizens who would never abuse their power. But what if, what if some of those police officers are really alien shapeshifters posing as police? Can we take that chance? Is it really wise to submit to their infiltration and eventual conquering of earth? I say no. If you hate aliens, say no to Bill C-10.

Winnipeg has crime problems. We don't need Judge Dredd and over-reaching and ultimately bad laws to solve them.

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