Wednesday, February 27, 2008

More commercials that I hate - Fallsview Casino

I watch the daily show on an eastern time zone feed on CTV HD on shaw cable. As such, I'm subject to commercials from the Eastern Time Zone.

One of those commercials is for Fallsview Casino, which is probably in or around Niagara falls. The infuriating thing about this commercial is that there are people dressed up as hockey players who have just won the Stanley Cup (or some major game anyways but 'the big game' is alluded to).. these players are excited and the joke in the commercial is that instead of wanting to go to "disneyworld" like many players for sports teams supposedly say, the team is so excited they want to go to Fallsview Casino. Fine. Its a commercial, I can buy that.

What I can't buy is that the colours of the jerseys and the general uniforms are the same colours as those of the Toronto Maple Leafs, the crappiest lamest team supported by the most mindless, retarded fans that ever existed on any continent, planet, nation, moment of time or space, or ever conceived of by any insane mind. The commercial implies that it is POSSIBLE for the leafs to win the Stanley Cup this year, nevermind in any future year. It is not. The leafs will not win. The leafs are 100% Fail.

I will never ever go to Fallsview Casino (even if I end up for some time period in or around Niagara Falls) . I understand that they're trying to target this ad to their target audience of braindead leafs fans of Ontario. The same people who inexplicably vote for the Liberals nationally every election. But nobody should be rewarded for buying into the mass delusion that the Leafs can ever win anything. It's bad enough that Don Cherry's (lets hope its just) senility makes him want to fellate the leafs during coaches corner every Saturday rather than discussing great plays by Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby, it's bad enough the CBC airs the Leafs every week despite the nauseating effect it has on everyone not in or from Ontario, But Fallsview Casino and other advertisers who are of the same mindset, don't perpetuate the myth that the Leafs can win the Stanley Cup. Leafs fans suffer from a severe mental disability, don't enable them.

Also the Ontario Teachers Pension Plan wants to purchase BCE, owners of Bell Expressvu and CTV. Which is somehow bringing everything together into one neat little package. I hate Ontario Teachers, and I hate old people, and I don't really like Bell Expressvu, and CTV airs crappy leafs commercials. And the Ontario Teachers Pension Fund owns the Toronto Maple Leafs. It'l be a shame to lose CTV to them, but presumably that much suck will create a black hole and rid us of all this fail once and for all.

Friday, February 15, 2008

PartyPoker TV Ads

I totally hate those Party Poker ads for their poker online garbage. The ones that depict people of various ethnicities playing Poker around the world, and swearing in their language when they lose.

1) I don't want to play poker with Nigerian 419 scammers or some guy in Zimbabwe who lives in a mud hut whose electricity should theoretically be cutting in and out all the time.

2) I don't want to see a commercial showing people who ARE NOT ME winning my money in a poker game. How is that enticing me to use Party Poker's bullshit service?

3) Speak English.

4) The music they play in the background is some sort of indian/middle eastern music. Is supporting Party Poker supporting terrorism? The commercials background music implies that to me.

5) They think its clever, but its not, and they air the commercials over and over again. They must be making tons of money from idiots playing poker.

for those 5 reasons and many more I haven't thought of yet I will never use partypoker's service.

Here is the commercial. I warn you its very crappy.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

How many kilometers is 88 m.p.h?

website /film (aka slashfilm) has news of a back to the future replica flux capacitor. Now if only I had a flying delorean, I'd be all set.

Offered by "Diamond Select", They're priced at $275 USD. Looks like it lights up and everything.

I'm tempted to buy it, but I better not. Mankind was not meant to mess with the laws of nature. And what with the high price of plutonium at the local corner store, I dunno. I'd need a Mr Fusion to make it worthwhile.

Still, it'd be neat to have a replica bttf delorean. Sorta like this guy on youtube:

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Stephen Colbert! Help us!


this article at reuters, talks about how the Manitoba government, completely by surprise to me, has placed Polar Bears on its endangered species list.

I find this quite deluded. Clearly the government wanted to score some points from the bear loving David Suzuki foundation. What about hunters who want to shoot and kill polar bears? They're already endangered (and have been banned in Manitoba for years now sadly). Why won't anyone stick up for them? What about the town of Churchill? Will it not be able to put down problem bears anymore? What about extreme sports enthusiasts who like to wrestle bears to the death? What effect will this have on the sequel to the movie 'The Golden Compass'? Where will they get their bears from?

Bears kill seals, which are essentially fat ugly walruses. I hate seals. I assume they have bad B.O. and they probably do. Seals that is. And walruses. Then again,if Bears eat Seals,then they probably have bad B.O. too.

Hack Scientists are blaming global warming for making the ice too thin for Polar Bears. But you know what? Why not get some polar bears and put them on Antarctica? Theres tons of walruses and seals and penguins to eat there. Plus its land underneath the ice, so they wont drown.

Plus, what about survival of the fittest? Surely we should have faith that the mighty Polar Bear can adapt to something like warmer weather? Surely they can find a new food source? Perhaps people. I've seen some rather walrussy looking people!

The gist of the new law restricts development on the hudson bay arctic shoreline.

Well great, now where will people go swimming?

Anyways, probably the most shocking thing of all is that our province's conservation minister is named Stan Struthers. Really? Isn't that an archie comics character?

In summary, nuke polar bears. They'd nuke us, if they had the bomb.

Prove me wrong!

Man I hate Oompa Loompas.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

The Greatest Potato Chip Flavour of EVAR




OLD DUTCH'S MEXICAN CHILI POTATO CHIPS! The greatest potato chip of all time. A while back I sent a letter to Old Dutch asking them whatever happened to the greatest potato chip of all time. They said it was discontinued due to lack of popularity. Although in my opinion, they gave up too soon on that flavour. Tons of people I have known have been wistfully remembering the taste of these chips. Heck, there is even a facebook group all for the return of Mexican Chili. I'm very disgusted with myself that I did not know of it until now. Though ironically, I did contact Old Dutch with my request for Mexican Chili chips all the same.

Still, guess what!
I found out today that they're back. Old Dutch brought it back (along with au gratin, which is french for cheesy.. which I didn't care for) remembered what they tasted like, EXACTLY. My memory from 15 years ago of the taste of those chips was perfect. The chips are perfection, from the slightly offensive to mexicans lazy guy in a sombrero logo right to the "Mexican chili" taste.. the ripples in the chips make it perfect. Thank you Old Dutch.

Old Dutch must be making a ton of dough on these things, because Mexican Chili is selling out everywhere I go to buy it. Now, I've blogged about my love of Old Dutch Chips before , and my hatred for LAYS (which are GARBAGE) and the fact that 7-11, owned by IDIOTS, only sells Lays, which are shit, which makes me want to shop elsewhere.

Which is sad, as I used to buy mexican chili chips from 7-11 back 15 years ago when they were originally sold.

In any case, Old Dutch bought Humpty Dumpty chips, which means Old Dutch is for sale in Quebec and Ontario. Congratulations Quebec and Ontario. Although Quebecers might be confused as to why Au Gratin is in French. Heck, I never understood why they called it Au Gratin. I guess French just sounds classier. Those Old Dutch people must know what they're doing. Nothing builds up demand for Mexican Chili chips than 15 years of denying it to us.

In any case, as much as I love Mexican Chili chips, and as beautiful as the world is today upon their return to store shelves, THIS GUYS BLOG at says it far more eloquently. But I basically agree with almost everything he says.

Love that lazy mexican mascot.

Friday, February 01, 2008 and (vs is an American web site that sells one item a day. What pisses me off is that they don't ship to Canada. Heck, they don't ship to Alaska or Hawaii apparently either, but thats not the point. The point is, Woot, ship to fucking Canada now, I demand you start doing so. I don't care if shipping costs more! If I want something, then I want it! What sort of business doesn't sell things to people who are willing to pay for them? apparently, and too.

Well, Amazon will sell some stuff to Canada, but they have affiliate marchants, and none of them seem capable of shipping to Canada. What sort of world is this where a person with money to burn can't purchase what they want to purchase? I'll tell you what sort of world. A world that makes no sense.

I mean, I haven't yet been motivated to purchase anything from, but what if I did? How arrogant are they? I bet they're based in Texas. Fucking Texas. I watched no country for old men, and it has Tommy Lee Jones in it, and it takes place in Texas. What a piece of shit place. Almost as ugly as Mexico. It's like they're stuck in the 80's or something. Tommy Lee Jones. What a stupid ending. Fuck Fuck Amazon affiliates. Fuck Ebay too. I'm going to shop locally. Take that, greedy bitches.

This is what woot had for sale today. H&R block tax cut software on a 1GB flash drive. $25.00! what a ripoff. Heck, 1GB flash drives, you'd have to pay me to take a 1GB flash drive. I prefer the ones where you can stick an SD card in them, much more cost effective and you don't end up stuck with a useless flash drive, just a useless SD card. Heck, the first time I saw they had a fucking wizard snowglobe type dealy that you find at Spencer gifts. Maybe it had a dragon on it. Really, who buys that stuff? Must be why they were selling it on woot. I'd rather go to Liquidation World.

Oh yeah, sucks. Take a look at it. Consider that the US dollar and Canadian dollars are nearly the same, now compare any item sold on to Exactly. total ripoff. And they're the same fucking company! And they don't sell half as much crap on as they do on WHAT THE FUCK, JEFF BEZOS???? But what would you expect from a site named after women who saw off one of their breasts just to be good at archery.