Saturday, March 26, 2011

HOLY FREAKIN POTHOLES

SERIOUSLY

The potholes in Winnipeg are breeding and multiplying as if they were tribbles.

Friday, March 25, 2011

From the "if poor sentence structure was a crime" department.

For a guy with a blog, I clearly don't follow the mainstream news that much. I saw a headline "Sinclair inquiry launched in Manitoba" and thought "Geez, What has Gordon Sinclair Jr. done now?"

Thursday, March 24, 2011

UNRATED

So I was driving slowly down Main Street during rush hour and I saw a poster for Death Race 2 on the store front of Video Cellar. Poster exclaimed "DEATH RACE 2 - UNRATED" as if being unrated was somehow a selling point. I was thinking it was unrated because nobody could be bothered to watch it in order to rate it.


I mean I suppose it could be a decent movie, but what makes it somehow better if it's unrated? Looking at the bottom right it says it comes with a rated and unrated version. So that disproves my theory. Still, what, they added a sex scene? A bit more gore? Does it really make a difference?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Deep Thoughts: Calgary Flames

I've never been to a Calgary Flames game or watched a flames game on TV, but I bet they play AC/DC's "Shot down in flames"a lot.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

CJOB Anniversary

So I was listening to CJOB last week for some reason and they started playing retro bumpers and sound effects which I vaguely remember from when CJOB was actually a good radio station. Then I got to wondering if old people in care homes were listening, would they start getting confused and wander outside thinking it's still the 60's? I didn't hear anything, so I guess their security held up but it was probably a pretty close call there.

Congratulations CJOB on finally being allowed to take advantage of senior citizen discounts. Maybe you can buy yourselves an FM transmitter one day.

I always wonder why they don't just get rid of that Jazz station they seem to own and replace it with a rebroadcast of CJOB. The only thing keeping them from getting a license is CRTC ownership rules.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

MTS 4 GEE


MTS has decided to follow Telus and stretch the definition of what it means to be offering 4G LTE speeds on their new network. Whatever, it's stupid and disappointing but what can you do.

My main disappointment is were two weeks away from their "4G" rollout, and they have four phones listed. Four. Three are f*cking blackberries, and one is a freakin Nokia from what may as well be the stone age. Not that I'm willing to buy a Nokia phone that isnt running Maemo. Windows Mobile or Symbian.. honestly. What is this, last decade??

Not a single android phone on that list. I know the playstation phone isn't out yet.. but c'mon!

I mean I have an unlocked Xperia X10 I could use.. but I'm holding out hope for a decent HTC phone.. but we'll see.

Of course, if their data plans turn out to be as crap as Rogers, I may as well stay with them.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Japan

I'd really hate to see Japan wiped out by nuclear fallout after surviving volcanoes, tsunamis, Godzilla, and earthquakes.

Makes me wonder if some serious crisis befell the Earth, if we wouldn't be wiped out by malfunctioning nuclear power plants rather than anything else.

Someone needs to build an undersea kingdom or moon base soon cause we're our own worst enemies.

Monday, March 07, 2011

The Lake Winnipeg Foundation commitment to Lake Winnipeg


As opposed to what? Their commitment to Lake Titicaca? What an odd headline.

If you're going to San Francisco...

The last San Francisco store in Winnipeg (At Garden City shopping centre) closed down a couple months ago. So if you need horribly crappy novelty items.. fart machines, marijuana leaf posters, flammable lava lamps, or horribly stupid t-shirts, your only remaining choice is Spencer's.

heres to you, San Francisco. And here's to the (I'm guessing) 65% occupancy rate at Garden City.


Scott McKenzie - San Francisco

Saturday, March 05, 2011

How to tell if a sports news website is a piece of shit

1) Does it present a strangely unified and biased point of view seemingly instituted from the top down?

2) Does it require you to log in with only Facebook, or Facebook and Twitter?

3) Does the logic of the argument break down very easily?

If so, SBNation, your website is a piece of shit.

Honestly. While Winnipeg may or may not deserve to get an NHL club, the reasons the Jets left are much less heinous than those of Phoenix and Atlanta. The Jets wanted a Salary Cap (ie: Financial predictability), a new Arena, and a new owner. All those are in place. The fans have never been a problem. They built it, they will come.

Such a troll website that site is.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

I don't know about the rest of you people

but I think Charlie Sheen is brilliant.

Gets a job on horrible sitcom that couldn't possibly be popular. When it does get popular inexplicably, he rides it out until it kills his soul worse than any drugs ever could. Finally cracks and becomes the worlds funniest guy. Show gets cancelled. Everybody wins!

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

New Polar Bear conservatory at the Assiniboine Park Animal Jail.

http://assiniboineparkzoo.ca/news.php?entry_id=11639

Sweet, all the fun of going to Churchill without actually having to bother to go there. What I've always wanted. Good job.

I watched the video. Ugh. So banal. Multi-Faceted! Dramatic backdrop for story telling and festive events! World Class! HOLISTIC!!!!! Aboriginal and First Nations peoples! It will be built by Greg Selinger and the NDP with their BEAR HANDS! GET IT! ahahahahahah gawd. We're Energized! Inspired! And Connected! But not Spirited.. someone screwed up there!

Guess which sound bytes are real and which ones I've made up:
  • They will have seals jumping around painfully out of reach of the Polar Bears just to mess with their minds.
  • Polar bears will be fed vegetarian diet as approved by PETA.
  • Tundra Buggies to take little children to go out on the tundra to meet the Polar Bears face to face. Completely safe.
  • The exhibit is rooted in real places. The town of Churchill, Wapusk National Park, The Hudson Bay ice shelf, Aurora Borealis theatre, and most popular of all the Churchill Garbage dump area.
  • On school-group overnight field trips, kids get to complain about having to sleep on the ground at the freakin' zoo.
  • At the "World without Ice" exhibit, Winnipeger's are spoon fed overly alarmist global warming propaganda, and get to stand in a trance and watch the movie "The Day After Tomorrow" on a loop, courtesy of 20th Century Fox.
  • It will be built under budget and on time.
  • Robots! Robots everywhere! Find the robot polar bear! It's also a drink machine!
Debbie is rolling over in her urn.

Crappy google quote of the day