More commercials that I hate - Fallsview Casino

I watch the daily show on an eastern time zone feed on CTV HD on shaw cable. As such, I'm subject to commercials from the Eastern Time Zone.

One of those commercials is for Fallsview Casino, which is probably in or around Niagara falls. The infuriating thing about this commercial is that there are people dressed up as hockey players who have just won the Stanley Cup (or some major game anyways but 'the big game' is alluded to).. these players are excited and the joke in the commercial is that instead of wanting to go to "disneyworld" like many players for sports teams supposedly say, the team is so excited they want to go to Fallsview Casino. Fine. Its a commercial, I can buy that.

What I can't buy is that the colours of the jerseys and the general uniforms are the same colours as those of the Toronto Maple Leafs, the crappiest lamest team supported by the most mindless, retarded fans that ever existed on any continent, planet, nation, moment of time or space, or ever conceived of by any insane mind. The commercial implies that it is POSSIBLE for the leafs to win the Stanley Cup this year, nevermind in any future year. It is not. The leafs will not win. The leafs are 100% Fail.

I will never ever go to Fallsview Casino (even if I end up for some time period in or around Niagara Falls) . I understand that they're trying to target this ad to their target audience of braindead leafs fans of Ontario. The same people who inexplicably vote for the Liberals nationally every election. But nobody should be rewarded for buying into the mass delusion that the Leafs can ever win anything. It's bad enough that Don Cherry's (lets hope its just) senility makes him want to fellate the leafs during coaches corner every Saturday rather than discussing great plays by Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby, it's bad enough the CBC airs the Leafs every week despite the nauseating effect it has on everyone not in or from Ontario, But Fallsview Casino and other advertisers who are of the same mindset, don't perpetuate the myth that the Leafs can win the Stanley Cup. Leafs fans suffer from a severe mental disability, don't enable them.

Also the Ontario Teachers Pension Plan wants to purchase BCE, owners of Bell Expressvu and CTV. Which is somehow bringing everything together into one neat little package. I hate Ontario Teachers, and I hate old people, and I don't really like Bell Expressvu, and CTV airs crappy leafs commercials. And the Ontario Teachers Pension Fund owns the Toronto Maple Leafs. It'l be a shame to lose CTV to them, but presumably that much suck will create a black hole and rid us of all this fail once and for all.

Toronto Maple Leafs 2-Ply Tissues from Dollarama

Dollarama is a great store. Aside from Furniture and Clothing, you could go to Dollarama and get almost everything you'd ever need, for the price of ONE DOLLAR.

Now, I hate the Toronto Maple Leafs, like all intelligent Canadians. So I was surprised when I came across a package of "Toronto Maple Leafs 2x16 2-Ply Tissues" at the dollarama. Basically a package contains 2 little tissue packs. Now, why would I buy this if I hate the leafs?

Heres the thing. I only saw Toronto Maple Leafs brand tissues. No Phoenix Coyotes brand tissues (they beat the Leafs tonight, the lowly Coyotes) No Edmonton Oilers or Montreal Canadiens tissues. Just the Leafs.

Does that make sense? Yes. Yes it does. Leafs fans are idiots, and furthermore they are idiots who will buy anything with the leafs logo (and some say are to blame for Canada's flag being the maple leaf. Heck they wanted it to be blue) .. Also, Leafs fans are the sports fans with the most reason to cry of any sports fans out there.

So, the point of this post was to mock Maple Leafs fans. Yes, I'll kick you when you're down you're that annoying. The only fans that came mildly close to being as annoying and deluded as Leafs fans are fans of England at the euro/world cups (Soccer, or as its know there, Football). They lost to the superior team a couple days back, to Croatia, and couldn't believe it, made tons of excuses, are out of Euro 2008, have to play Croatia AGAIN for the 2010 World Cup as they are in the same division, and STILL think "OH yeah we can beat them EASILY".. NO YOU CAN'T! YOU SUCK! DONT YOU GET IT? They just don't.

In any case, this guy makes a good point at this link here as to why the Leafs are garbage.

Alas, I'll end this with the CFL where the Winnipeg Blue Bombers lost in the Grey Cup to those evil sons of lucifer themselves, the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Too many injuries destroyed the Bombers chances. It just wasn't to be. I'm actually amazed they made it to the Grey Cup game at all this year. Hopefully they can pull it together, and win it next year. I'll give the Bombers credit for exceeding my expectations, and then meeting them in the Grey Cup. Congratulations to Saskatchewan. I guess we'll have to get a conservative provincial government too, then we'll win. In Fact, I blame Gary Doer for losing the coin toss. Jackass. Increasing the minimum wage is dumb too. It just means more people will be making minimum wage. Why penalise hard workers? Oh right, I forgot. This is the NDP we're talking about.

NHL Playoffs in perspective

As a Winnipeger, I have spent the last decade without my NHL team.. That said, It's playoff time, and there are 4 teams left. I think and hope Ottawa wins the Stanley Cup this year. It would no doubt make millions of Torontonians' brains melt instantly from the shock. Furthermore, I hope Detroit manages to beat the Anaheim Ducks. I never really considered Detroit as a contender for the cup, but some crazy force is pushing them through, and there would be nothing better for ratings in the USA and Canada for Detroit to play Ottawa (except if Detroit played Buffalo maybe but that's not going to happen)

So tomorrow, Ottawa plays Buffalo in the middle of the day, which is a horrible time to watch a hockey game. Hockey games are an evening thing. 6 or so. It's all NBC's fault, but what do they care about tradition. CBC got jacked though, considering NBC doesn't pay a damn cent up front.

I have to qualify that I don't want the Ducks to win mostly because I don't believe they should exist as a team. I like the San Jose Sharks, and the L.A Kings, and find the ducks existence superfluous. I like Teemu Sellanne and coach Randy Carlyle well enough for being ex-Jets, but they're working for a team that I don't believe has any right playing for the Stanley Cup. Still, I can live with any of the other 3 teams winning the cup, for some strange reason, as Detroit, Buffao, and Ottawa winning would just be like a stake to the heart of Toronto Maple Leafs fans, and anything that shocks them into seing the reality and futility of their obsessive compulsion to root for a failure of a team is a good thing.

Top 10 Reasons Gary Bettman should bring back the Jets

Recently theres been a bit of discussion about NHL expansion, presumably by two teams, because most people who follow the NHL are obsessive compulsives and require symmetry. So, Winnipeg has once again been brought up by every Canadian media personality who wants to sell Newspapers, radio air time, TV ad slots, or just wants to point out how American teams suck. Well, great. But that's not going to convince Gary Bettman. Gary Bettman is a numbers man. So here I present the Top Ten reasons Gary Bettman should be in favour of an NHL team returning to Winnipeg. I'll count down from 10 so that the leafs fans reading this can follow along without losing their spot.

10. They'll finally take down that sculpture of you in the Leo Mol Sculpture garden in Winnipeg with the plaque that reads "The Devil".

9. People may still chant "Bettman Sucks" but they'll hold off on the lewd gestures.

8. You can write it off as a charitable donation.

7. Because even American hockey fans put it at the top of their wish lists. Seriously.

(not funny enough? O.K. fine)

Real #7 ... Randy Bachman will let you use "Taking care of business" as your theme music when you move into the motivational speaking career you've had planned all these years.

6. So that the world can stop focussing on the team relocations and start focussing on the crappy new uniforms.

5. When global warming destroys all the teams in the south, you'll still have enough teams to form a league. (Bonus, Winnipeg will then count as a "southern team")

4. If you bring them back and they still fail, you can say "I told you so!" any time anyone questions you.

3. So that when the NHL expands to 450 teams in 2063 and brings back the old division names, the Bettman division won't include Trinidad, Antarctica, Easter Island, and Belize.

2. Save Money. No longer need to hire as many bodyguard's when in Canada (or at the very least they'll lower their rates)

And the number one reason Gary Bettman should bring back the Winnipeg Jets to the NHL:

1. So that everyone would just shut up about it!

And for the record, when the Leafs play the Coyote's in the coming pre-season in Winnipeg, I will not be cheering for the Coyote's (unless they wear Jets uniforms) But I WILL be booing Toronto. I hate Toronto, I hate Old people, and I hate teachers. and the leafs are owned by the Ontario Teachers Pension Fund. Die you old hippies. Don't support the leafs! Supporting the leafs is supporting old hippies.

This is the best photo I've ever come across on the internets.

LEAFS SUCK!!!!!!!