Google Maps

I live close to a river, and while looking at google maps it occured to me that if I had the power of flight, just across the river is a mini-mall which, with the power of flight, would only be about a minute away. Thats fucking awesome, and if you need proof that there is no God, it's because flight is impossible, and thats not fair!

I wish I could fly, at least for like 5 minutes or so like the princess or luigi in Mario 2. I mean not the same way, I don't want to wear a dress like the princess or have really stupid feet like luigi, but to be able to hover and float in the air for a certain distance would be good enough for me. Not like Mario in Mario 3 or world though, because you have to run and build up speed to fly, and that's just too much effort.

And you could say "oh, Reed, you could just get a boat. You'd get across the river fast". But then you have to maintain the boat, tie it up when you're not using it, watch for boat thieves at all times of the night, and worry about sharks. With flight, all you have to worry about is birds pecking out your eyes, and if you're flying, you're bigger than a bird, so they're not stupid enough to attack you if you're just going to the mall to get toothpaste, which is what I would go for because I ran out and its sunday night and nothing nearby is open.