Monday, November 05, 2007

Holywood Writers Strike

If you haven't heard by now, Hollywood Writers are going on strike. They want more money from internet sales, but they aint gettin it. So strike it is! Now, I know people come here for the news, so, this is how you'll be affected:

- Immediately: Late-night talk shows, which depend on topical material, will go to reruns

- In about one month: Daytime soap operas will go to reruns

- By January-February: Current prime-time shows will likely run out of fresh episodes

- Reality shows unaffected; Fox, with fewer hours to program and powerhouse "American Idol" returning in January, in best shape if strike continues, according to The Hollywood Reporter

- ABC has stockpiled several new shows, could put them on in midseason if strike persists

- TV networks have stockpiled TV movies

- Movie studios in decent shape for now


- By July: Military Juntas roam the streets rounding up anyone who has discovered the outside world

- By September-October: Mass Canibalism, some Zombie skirmishes.

- By November: Lindsay Lohan runs out of crack and heroin, online gossip sites beg washington for financial aid. Saturday Night Live wins an emmy for its best season ever, despite having produced no episodes.

- By December 2008: Thermo-Nuclear war. Dogs and Cats living together.

Clearly its no laughing matter. A world without poorly written hollywood television is one too frightening to imagine. People might resort to watching the BBC or Canadian Television or cancelling their Cable TV subscriptions because now there really IS nothing to watch.

Still, I'm pretty sure most cartoons are unaffected by this, so Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park, and all the rest of the shows that I watch will continue as if none of this mattered. Which it doesn't. Well, except for The Colbert Report. Maybe Colbert will use the free time to run as an independant candidate in the election. Though why anyone would want to follow George W Bush into the presidency and try to fix his mess is beyond me. Even if you win, you lose.

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