Roger Ebert's Jowels

I'm not doing this to pick on roger ebert, but ever since he had that operation I've noticed that there are a lot of old women in Winnipeg with a similar face structure. I'm always tempted to go up to them and say "Hey Roger Ebert, read your review on.. (pick a movie), well done" but then I remember that that sort of thing is why people think I'm an asshole, which I am, so I stop myself.

Never dudes though, its always old women.

Sometimes a pipe is just a pipe

Good News, everyone!

I finally updated my blog graphics. Comes across as quite a bit more sophisticated doesn't it.

I changed the name of the blog to Reed Solomon's Matrix because.. well.. its shorter than the old title.

Enjoy.

Chiptunes

I like to listen to "Chiptunes", music that uses the sounds from old 8-bit video game systems and the like. I like to imagine that every action I take in life earns me points, and that I have infinite lives. And its nice to have an 8-bit soundtrack to that.

Helpful hint. You can tell the difference between NPC characters and non NPC characters (I know it's redundant) by whether they're repetitious. If someone repeats the same thing over and over again, its okay to hit them with your whip or knife or baseball bat, because they're computer generated.

here's a few chiptunes I think you'll enjoy.

John Tesh WTF

So occasionally I scan through the FM radio stations on my cell phone when I'm bored. Occasionally I land on one of those light pop rock 80's/90's stations I don't know which one, but occasionally John Tesh has a syndicated show. Whenever he comes on to say something, without fail, it is the most fucked up piece of trivia you could regurgitate. "John Tesh here, did you know that there is a tiny mosquito that lays eggs in the penis or vagina and causes extreme pain? It's true! And you can get it from the common public toilet seat!" or "John Tesh here, news out of holyfuck university has it that if you wash your hands with anti-microbial hand wash, you now have AIDS!!!" How does his show stay on the air? Who wants to hear this stuff? What the hell, John Tesh. EVERY FREAKIN TIME. "did you know the common household sponge contains 50% EBOLA virus and 26% the bacteria that causes beubonic plague?" .. no? Well John Tesh does. Stop it, John Tesh.

Telus to release shitty phone on July 30th. More of the same.

Canadian wireless operator, chronic rapist and abusive significant other, Telus Mobility, has announced plans to introduce a phone as shitty as its very network on July 30, the same day as rival sister street whore, Bell Mobility.

Telus announced its intentions to sucker idiots of their ill gotten drug money today, whereas Bell made its plans clear on Monday.

The iPhone 4, which has been available in the U.S. since like forever, has all the same features as previous iPhone devices such as a non removable battery, proprietary itunes using Windows interface, and a soul sucking demon spell that causes its owners to pledge their lives in servitude to the dark lord Steve Jobs on the occasion of his rebirth as a dragon lord. Plus, the iphone 4 introduces a worse antenna design.

Telus Spokesperson Ivanna Getreamed proclaimed "Not only are we releasing this locked, DRM encrusted piece of crap phone, but we're going to continue to give our customers the level of service they've come to expect from a National Canadian mobile provider". Said Ms. Getreamed "What are they gonna do about it? Switch? hahahahah"

Customers are already inexplicably lining up for a chance simply to touch the iphone. "I can't afford it, as I'm already on an 8 year contract for my iphone 3g, but I feel that if I can just touch the fake display phone in the telus kiosk at the mall things might take a turn for the better"

In other news, Google has discontinued the Nexus One. It would appear people have no interest in an unlocked upgradable and open phone sold online. Said one hipster imbecile "Umm, Is it an iphone? That's the best phone. It's 3G, and I can download Apps to it!?"

Original article at http://www.teleclick.ca/2010/07/telus-mobility-to-launch-iphone-4-on-july-30/

Once you go black

The Black Rod, Winnipegs most Black Roddy Roddyist blog, piped up on the issue of rapid transit recently. Saying that Sam Katz's support for LRT Rapid Transit is handing the election over to Judy Whatserface-leis. First of all, I disagree that people in Winnipeg care that much about one vs the other or how much it costs, because we all know the money is coming from Ottawa, its our money, and if WE don't spend it, Quebec surely will. So why should we be frugal at all on this? So it costs a bit more for LRT. So what. You pay more for quality. That's how things work. In the chance it increases transit ridership, then it is a sound investment. And as a transit rider personally, I am in favour of it more than BRT. We need more options than buses, because with just a bus system, we've become stuck in a rut.

Second of all, I don't care if New Flyer loses some money on this. New Flyer buses have the stupidest design policies when it comes to how to get off a bus it makes me crazy. Yellow stripe? Yellow wire? I don't even know what the hell. You don't buy a bus just because they create jobs locally. If that was the case why should other towns and cities that sell buses purchase from New Flyer? And would the rapid transit buses have been purchased from New Flyer? I don't know, but theres no guarantee on that either.

Finally, the nonsensical belief that this issue will push people over to Judy does not compute. What would push that faction of people over to Judy is the belief that Bus Rapid transit will never happen. But that segment is already anti-Katz on principle. And are already most likely campaigning for her anyways.

It is my belief that this city, founded on railroads, with lots of abandoned rail lines that could be converted, should embrace them. They helped build this city.

Also the black rod bitched about mosquitos. Frankly, the citizens of Winnipeg will never be happy one way or another. If they get a single bite from a mosquito, It's Sam Katz's fault. I love the dragonflies. My nephew loves the dragonflies. I never saw a single dragonfly in this city until Sam Katz was elected. You'd think they'd be all over the place. I think they've got a good system going, especially this year considering the amount of rain we've had. Kudos to Taz Stuart for a job well done in my opinion. Sure there were some kinks early on, but they seem to have a handle on things now.

CBC Radio: This is That

So the other day I was listening to the radio and they were airing a new comedy faux news show called "This is That" and I found it simply delightful. What's not delightful is that the CBC requires you to install fucking iTunes to download a free mp3 of the show. Not cool.

That said, I turned on the radio and I was listening to some show and I was laughing at it, then I realized it was Afghanada, and not "This is That". Easy mistake to make. "This is That" has better writing thats for sure. If Afghanada can get 3 seasons then surely "This is That" can replace "As it Happens" in daily rotation.

Conservatives make long form census non mandatory.

From:http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/100712/national/tories_census_scrubbed_5

I personally think it was getting a bit too long for its own good in the first place.

Think about it, they don't even need the census to know anything about us these days what with social networks and targeted advertising and credit cards and databases of all kinds everywhere.

Frankly it was just an exercise in pedantry, and in my opinion, technically passes as a form of torture.

Sunny days.. Sunny sunny sunny days.

"The CRTC would lose every shred of credibility to accept Sun TV’s application", says a globe and mail article.

To which I ask.. What Credibility?

Hey, remember that giant portrait of the Queen in the Winnipeg Arena?

Apparently its sitting in a warehouse in Oshawa.. WHAT THE HECK!?!? Is there nowhere in Winnipeg we could put that piece of history? 20 Years she spent watching the Jets lose over and over again at the Winnipeg Arena. You could hardly find a more dedicated fan. Now theres a movement to put it on display in Oshawa., which is nice in the sense that it shouldn't be sitting in a warehouse, but c'mon. Is there nowhere in Winnipeg we could put that giant portrait?

I'm just disappointed. Even if you're not a fan of the monarchy, its a piece of history. Like that Andrew Carnegie portrait now hanging in the Millenium Library.

New Transit Bus Review

picture yoinked from wikipedia

So I hopped on a transit bus, which is apparently a new transit bus New Flyer is testing out. The following are my immediate reaction.

• First, the bus was late. Not horribly late, but still, who knows if it was the bus or the driver.
• It has seats that LOOK like they should be more comfortable, but they're really less comfortable somehow. Like the worst chairs in class you could find in junior high school bad. Sure they're "padded" seemingly, with a piece of carboard wedged between the carpet exterior, is what it felt like. Not impressed.
• Has a skylight in the back seat. Which is neat, but a vampires tend to prefer the back seat and that's somewhat cruel.
• The bus was called the Xcelsior 900. I guess Stan Lee named it?
• Instead of the thing you pull down to signal your stop (driver alert pull cords?), or many little push buttons to signal your stop, they have brought back those yellow wires that they used to have in order to open the doors *and replaced with the yellow tape. not only that, but if you have no idea whats going on, you can't find a button to press instead. This bus was not designed for passengers.
• You know that yellow tape for the back doors you have to press that everyone hates and most don't know how to use and that never works? Well, they improved it by having a voice call out at every stop "Press yellow tape to get off the bus". Yes, that's how New Flyer handles feedback. Everyone on the planet hates the yellow tape that they replaced the yellow wire with? Bring back both, and make them even more annoying. EVERY STOP. I'm sure they could turn it off, but why make a bus ride enjoyable? Wheres the sense in that?
  
• Bus wasn't air conditioned. I mean it probably will be if the city buys some, Katz did a good job getting a bunch of air conditioned buses on the roads here, but still it was a bit warm in there.
• Fluorescent lights are everywhere now. Because they're "better for the environment" (really its probably a wash, as there are many negative environmental attributes to fluorescent lights) Probably cheaper in the long run though.
• Visually it looks like you're in the shuttle of a really crappy spaceship. So I guess that's a plus. In fact, they seemed to have focused more on aesthetics than actual comfort. Visually its nice to look at, but like many of the seats at the MTS Centre... not designed for people taller than 5'10"

Well there you have it. That's my opinion.

FM Cable Radio

So I was driving my moms car the other day (long story) and realized she was listening to some radio station called Mix 96 seemingly from Steinbach. And I was amazed at the reception she was getting in her car (Its fuzzy if I try to listen on my cell phone FM radio)

Anyways, it got me on a whole FM radio thing and I realized my DVD home stereo system with dts processing capability has a Coaxial line in it. I plugged in a regular antenna into it and got most stations, but some were coming in fuzzy. So a couple days later I thought.. hey.. what if I split my cable TV and have one line go into the FM input on this radio? Guess what, it worked! At least with Shaw. I assume thats why MTS digital boxes have the FM radio stations as actual TV stations, cause they can't just have the FM stations on an analogue signal.

Now with the standard antenna I couldn't get 95.9 Kick FM, but with the cable TV connected antenna, its loud and clear on 104.7. Who knew! I'm pretty sure it was Kick FM cause they were just replaying the Great Canadian talk show episode with judy wasylycia-leis. oh, if you want to know how to type her name, type judy was into your google toolbar and the fourth option is her. She was my MP at one point in my life you'd think I'd have some inkling on how to spell it, but you'd be wrong.

It's actually pretty cool. Here is the station list from Shaw as of the time I'm writing this.. with some of my own commentary thrown in for good measure:

96.3 is CBC Radio 1 from Vancouver for some reason
96.7 is CBC Radio 2 also from Vancouver.. apparently French.
97.1 CICY aka NCI FM
97.5 Power 97 (kinda fuzzy, oddly enough... seems to be actual OTA reception bleeding through)
98.9 CFEQ Christian Rock "Ignite 107" used to be Freq. Either way I don't listen to it.
99.5 CJOB News / Talk Radio. Good old CJOB. In FM! Who knew! Bad quality for me though. Hopefully it was just a temporary thing. Seemed compressed.
99.9 CJZZ Jazz FM bleh. works fine, I hate Jazz.
100.3 CFRW 1290 AM .. greatest oldies of all time. Not bad.
100.7 NBRS VoicePrint-Reading Service apparently based out of Toronto. Always nice to have another news station option.
101.1 CKJS Multilingual seemed a bit fuzzy sound... lots of ethnic targetted radio if I remember correctly.
101.5 CKUW University of Winnipeg.. it was silent when I listened to it. Off Air maybe? Or just Shaw not giving a signal..
101.9 CFWM Bob FM
102.3 92 CITI FM Classic Rock
102.7 CKXL Multi-format French station of some sort.
103.1 CJUM University of MB. It's striking me odd how they mix up the stations like that. You'd think they could put hot 103 there, but no.
103.5 K-rock FM (formerly Hank FM until a few days ago)
103.9 CKY Clear FM - "80's, 90's and NOW."
104.3 XLM572 Environment Canada Weather Radio. Pretty neat. Operates on same frequency OTA as the US NOAA weather service, with special weather radio devices.
104.7 CKIC Red River College Kick FM. I got the signal better on 104.6 though. Better than with the antenna though. Clearer either way.
105.1 CHIQ Curve 94.3
105.5 CJKR Power 97 again.. this is the official channel as per shaws website.. so.. weird. Go figure.
105.9 CKSB French
106.3 RIM JHIM Indian Ethnic Radio from Vancouver, but I didn't pick anything up when I scanned for it. Supposedly Bollywood type stuff.
106.7 CKMM Hot 103.
107.1 CFQX QX-104.
107.5 CBW CBC Radio 2 from Winnipeg
107.9 NPR Public Radio - from North Dakota. Prairie Public Radio.

It's Prairie Public Radio, which is presumably NPR but I'm not sure if it officially is an NPR station (as its not listed on the NPR website). Mostly classical music, but they do air NPR news at least.

It'd be nice if Shaw could put CBC radio 1 from winnipeg and CBC Radio 3 on there too, but beggars can't be choosers. It's still a nice option for people to have. Just plug in the coaxial cable into the radio, and voila.

Now that I think about it, Mix 96 isn't carried on shaw either. oh well.

I mean, theres always live streaming, but if you already have that cable going in to your house, and a radio with an antenna input (you might need a converter for some antennas to Coaxial) its a nice option. Shaw should advertise it more. Unless they're trying to phase it out with the switch to digital eventually.. though I can't see why, analogue radio can't possibly take up that much bandwidth.

How to use your Logitech Harmony remote under Ubuntu Linux with Congruity

Congruity is a Linux based gui for the Logitech Harmony website at http://members.harmonyremote.com/EasyZapper/UserHome.asp. The site should be familiar if you've ever run Logitech's own software under Windows.

Now, Congruity is a bit confusing if you're just starting it up and plugging it in, because on its own, it doesn't do anything. Congruity is based on command line software libraries called concordance/libconcord. Whatever the case, running apt-get install congruity under linux will install things for you.

So you want to update your harmony remote. What do you do now? You must go to the aforementioned harmonyremote.com web page first. You cannot simply run congruity. From there, you must follow the web based instructions after logging yourself in to your logitech user account.

Using Firefox, at various points you will be asked to either plug in your Harmony Remote, or download a file and run it with Congruity.. which you must do every time it asks. It actually worked pretty well for me.

It'd be nice if there was some other repository for harmony remote control code files. It's somewhat disturbing to think that should something happen to logitech (not that its likely, but you never know) that great repository of codes will be unaccessible. It'd be nice if harmony remote owners could back up their codes to some other, perhaps more open site, to build a new secondary backup database that libconcord/congruity could be compatible with.

But for the time being, install was fast, and once I realized all you have to do is go to harmonyremote.com after installing congruity, everything went better than expected.